Frozen Past...

Maybe we should sit and talk
Maybe its not really this complicated
Are we ready to listen?
What if there comes a day when you tell me that you don’t want me by your side?
What if there comes a day when you look at me and don’t feel the same about me?
What if you wake up one day and find out that I don’t really love you...

Shadows of my past grip me as I try to love you. This heart of mine runs for what it doesn’t have and can’t have ever. It’s a fantasy I want to live in, a world full of love and laughter. It shatters my brittle heart to see how painfully different reality is! If only I had wished for what I really wanted...

Possessiveness!!

Everyone has some things in them that are "Not Right!" Things that people call flaws. Sometimes I wonder if it is right to rate these- Bigger flaws and smaller flaws. People say that getting possessive or getting jealous easily is a flaw. I beg to differ. Why is everything put to- You need to have trust in a relationship..!! Pulleeaase! If there was no trust you wont let the guy even take you out at night! Trust is there but is it wrong to expect your guy to "Not Flirt" with other gals, while you sit waiting for him? When you give your complete self to someone, is it wrong to expect that someone to atleast keep certain emotional outbursts to you and only you? It's not like you are expecting him to give you his everyday timetable and not even like a requirement for him to call you up and let you know of each and every step he takes? No, thats where trust comes in. You trust him to do the right thing, for himself, for you and for your relationship. But when this someone gifts kisses and hugs around? For me, that's still something that'll disturb me! I accept it- I am possessive by nature but that does not mean that I am killing the guy with me. He is still living and living the way he chooses to live, I would just want him to choose me for all the intimate love he has! I don't think that's possessive!!

And you know what, no matter what people say, everyone is possessive and a little Jealous deep down! But not everyone has the courage to accept it! Why is this such a bad word?? I would love to have someone want me to only give him my romantic attention- It'll only show him how much I care and value his love! Its certainly not indicative of any of us being low on self confidence! People who think this way, need to definitely think again! ;)

Ruins...

She told him she’s leaving. He kissed her goodbye and asked her to be careful.
She walked away… he called out to her for one last glance… She looked at him, her eyes glistening with tears… And just then, in the flash of a lightening, they came back to her… all the dreams they had woven together… All the times of laughter… all the times of love and beauty… the castle they built together… he saw only the ruins! She wanted to stop and wait longer in her world of love and laughter, her fantasies, her happiness, Couldn’t see that there were just ruins now! Her beautiful dream had broken, the hope dead! There’s no peace for her.. Nothing to put her heart to rest…Cold, and Closed she turns her back to her world…

You aren’t here even when you are here…
I am gently drifting away…

The Kiss..!!

What does a kiss mean to you? Ever tried interpreting kisses? I am going to do that fatal thing right here!

Lets start from the beginning, the first kiss always remains the first kiss and even if you probably hate the person now, you know that you would never be able to forget him and that moment you shared with him. The first time you felt touched. The first time you felt someone got to know you, probably the first time you actually came to know yourself and your needs.

Then there is this kiss that comes with sympathy. She kisses him cuz he is a great person and he is madly in love with her. She doesn’t love him but can’t afford to break his heart (She hasn’t learnt the trick yet!) That kiss would always make you feel good cuz of the glint you get to see in the guy’s eyes after the kiss.. It is a wonderful feeling!

There are crushes and infatuations in everyone’s life. When you actually kiss the person you are infatuated with, you feel you have achieved what you had set out to do. Its more of a victory. The feeling is great but the value of the kiss falls everytime after the first moment!

The completely hot n wet kiss! If you haven’t experienced this then you have seriously lost out on something in your life! There are times when there is no love and no affection or even emotional bonding. Just Attraction! Plain attraction and there is a situation which is perfect! That’s when you realize that you have this undying desire of kissing this someone and you make it a point to give way to all the pent up energy in you, revealing the lust in you! It sure is exhilarating!

Finally there comes the kiss with someone you truly believe you love. You may want to believe that you aren’t a good kisser or he isn’t but you both know that this kiss is the most beautiful! Not because this is the wettest or the one where you win but because this is the one where you surrender and there is so much joy in giving yourself completely to this one person you want to trust. It’s the most beautiful feeling. Its like you have just touched an angel just had your first contact with something divine. God’s come down to you and told you that you are being loved and looked after…

Each has its own pleasure if you can make your relationship last forever, each kiss will be the best. Each leaving you with different emotions… Love, Lust, Thrill, Affection, Security, Reassurance…

My Life's Melodies...

I always have a song on my mind.. n like always..!! There’s good to it.. I like humming it over n over again.. a happy day gives me a happy song n so does a angry frustrating day… the problem comes when I associate songs with people… n believe me I do it! I actually have songs for people… songs that remind me of moments with them.. random moments… precious moments... moments of laughter...moments of pain...even moments of anger! Today I sit and think that I am probably not doing justice to my music. People come n go and in my life this happens very often (Don’t start blaming me for it now!) So when people walk away so do their songs.. Somehow I can never listen to those songs again, they always remind me of those moments and that causes so much pain that I’d rather not listen to the song… My I tunes playlist is like my life playing… With each song there’s a different chapter of my life unfolding…Chapters I have sometimes felt like erasing! You delete the song, block the person away.. But what do you do with memories? What do you do with this heart that still wants to hum the same song over n over again… Won’t people ever understand, by leaving me alone they take my melodies away… they take pieces of my life away…