Thursday, September 25, 2008

Freedom?


Some relationships are hard to define… Those that you find hard to give a tag to… No one understands but you… Some make you smile and some others can only make you feel miserable… Sometimes you hate someone and would rather never look at them or talk to them, but when they call, you still talk to them like nothing has happened! Is it so tough being angry with someone and showing it to them?? Is this the reason why people drink and get sloshed..? So they can tell people exactly how they feel about them and not feel guilty about it later.. You can always blame the alcohol for everything…!! We are running a race here, struggling to live an ordinary life, fighting our emotions each moment, polishing them, fitting them in this world’s ways… We smile when we are supposed to and act cordial even when we don’t truly feel that way... so caught up inside our own made rules and regulations… what human and civic rights are we fighting for then? What’s more important is to fight these shackles of thought and perception of ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ that we have created inside us..!! They call this a century for the rebellious- for people who are entitled to freedom!! I think its time we think that over!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Ramblings...



I haven't posted anything here for long and there's a reason to it.. I realized that whenever there was a passing thought in my mind, I scribbled it somewhere and decided that I would think more on it and write a post when I get some more time... which I never got.. So then I decided why not just post all those random thoughts here.. and that's what I have done! I ramble on...

One song that I listened to while writing ‘Love Turns to hatred’: You’re So Gay- Katy Perry..!
Its one of those songs that you listen to at the loudest volume and scream along with… and when the songs is over you feel like you have just come back from church.. Relieved… Satisfied… Content…!

Sometimes, I want to play hide and seek with life… I want to hide away from all my sorrows and loneliness and wait silently for happiness to come find me! I’ll scream with joy then… n there’ll be laughter everywhere… n beauty just how I would want it to be…

I wish I was invisible so I could cry out loud in the open without having people judge me and call me weak!

All day I think of ways to avoid you and ignore you completely and when night falls I see you in my dreams and live the life I wish to live deep down… Your warm kiss is like felicity that knows no taint of sin… You make me hum in soft sweet undertones when I know that I should instead be running away from you! Sometimes I wonder why…

Pretty random huh... that's exactly how my mind works.. fleeting thoughts find their way in and out.. and life goes on...

Monday, September 8, 2008

Tell me a Story...


When I was a child, I felt that my life was a story being read by the Fairy Godmother to all the children and what terrified me most was that I knew that one day, the fairy will close the book and my life will end. Now that I have learnt my ABCs and I know that my life is not really a fairytale, there is still some truth in this belief that I once had. It does seem like a story being read to someone… Just not a story anyone would call a fairytale! Things just happen in my story and they happen when you least expect them to. People come and go...It’s like someone reading out a story where things happen just so the story makes some sense. Interesting no doubt, but Grey! I call it a 'Grey' 'cause there is nothing that is completely tainted (Black) and nothing that's completely pure (White) here... so the shade's 'grey' where things happen and are then left to human perception to place them as 'Black' or 'White'...


And so, I smile because I know that no matter how "grey" my story may be, it belongs to me and somewhere deep down I know that I make it, while some mighty force up there "shapes" it... Someday, the Fairy Godmother will close the book and stop reading... the children will sleep and my story will be forgotten...

Friday, September 5, 2008

I Choose To be Happy!


Sometimes the best feeling is just to breathe and smile, it can change our outlook on life. I like to reflect on my life and all the good and bad things in it on a regular basis and more times than once I realize that even if I thought someone to be the worst person in my life for some time, they did teach me something! Somewhere deep down I know that it is because of them that I am a stronger person now. It’s not the same na├»ve ‘me’ who trusts everyone and laughs and smiles genuinely with everyone with a warm looking face.

At the same time, I think of people I misunderstood, people I thought were hurting me, but were actually always there for me and still are. I take time out and silently say a prayer for them- thanking them for having faith in me and for making me have some hope in humanity.

I can say today that I am a happy person and I am happy because I choose to be happy. There were tough times but I have learnt from them and picked the best I could from it and moved on. I quote:

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance.
The wise grows it under his feet.
- James Openheim

Unquote