New Year Wishes!

New Year eve has a funny thing to it! Every new year I feel that this is going to be the most romantic night for me. I live this fantasy of meeting my man. I dream of kissing my man as the clock strikes 12 and marks the beginning of a new year, silently I pray that this is the start of a new world for me.

And as years pass my silent prayer goes unheard… As years pass all my fantasies end… No more Santa Clause, No more Mail Van wishes coming true, No more Joy Birds, No more new year Prince! Its sad to have all this crash down.

But, this time around I learnt something new. I learnt that while all these dreams and fantasies don’t come true, God does send me my angels, not just on the eve but all year round, Disguised Angels! These are people I meet and want to meet everyday! People who make me smile on days I decide not to! This year end I am not going to wait for a prince to come kiss me, rather I am going to wait for that frog to come make me smile and give me all the joy I deserve. The frog I choose to ignore every year! My real angel! Totally God sent!

You don’t get to choose your angels, they are simply God sent customized to your needs!

Frozen Past...

Maybe we should sit and talk
Maybe its not really this complicated
Are we ready to listen?
What if there comes a day when you tell me that you don’t want me by your side?
What if there comes a day when you look at me and don’t feel the same about me?
What if you wake up one day and find out that I don’t really love you...

Shadows of my past grip me as I try to love you. This heart of mine runs for what it doesn’t have and can’t have ever. It’s a fantasy I want to live in, a world full of love and laughter. It shatters my brittle heart to see how painfully different reality is! If only I had wished for what I really wanted...

Possessiveness!!

Everyone has some things in them that are "Not Right!" Things that people call flaws. Sometimes I wonder if it is right to rate these- Bigger flaws and smaller flaws. People say that getting possessive or getting jealous easily is a flaw. I beg to differ. Why is everything put to- You need to have trust in a relationship..!! Pulleeaase! If there was no trust you wont let the guy even take you out at night! Trust is there but is it wrong to expect your guy to "Not Flirt" with other gals, while you sit waiting for him? When you give your complete self to someone, is it wrong to expect that someone to atleast keep certain emotional outbursts to you and only you? It's not like you are expecting him to give you his everyday timetable and not even like a requirement for him to call you up and let you know of each and every step he takes? No, thats where trust comes in. You trust him to do the right thing, for himself, for you and for your relationship. But when this someone gifts kisses and hugs around? For me, that's still something that'll disturb me! I accept it- I am possessive by nature but that does not mean that I am killing the guy with me. He is still living and living the way he chooses to live, I would just want him to choose me for all the intimate love he has! I don't think that's possessive!!

And you know what, no matter what people say, everyone is possessive and a little Jealous deep down! But not everyone has the courage to accept it! Why is this such a bad word?? I would love to have someone want me to only give him my romantic attention- It'll only show him how much I care and value his love! Its certainly not indicative of any of us being low on self confidence! People who think this way, need to definitely think again! ;)